When I was younger, I loved to draw, design and even create bridges out of popsicle sticks. When I was 15 years old, I designed my first dress, which would become my Quinceñera dress; a Latin American equivalent to a sweet sixteen. I even picked out the fabrics that would be used in making the dress.
At the time I didn’t know it but drawing and designing meant the world to me. When I was stressed, I would draw. When I was bored, I would draw. When I was hanging out with my now amazingly creative brother, we would draw and even have competitions of who was the better artist — and I *Ahem* would always win. But somewhere along the way, I stopped. In fact, I remember when it was the first time I stopped. It was when I gave in to my parents persistent nagging, where they would say that art wouldn’t take you nowhere and that I had to get into university to get a real job.
Well, one day this finally just stuck and I felt that creativeness and art was childish. I mean, I was in my last year of high school and I needed to be mature, right?. My dream of being an interior designer was something that was so misunderstood by my parents. They didn’t understand how I would get a job, at least, so they thought. This is how I ended up in something so terribly boring: Criminology; The most uncreative thing in the world.
During my undergraduate days, things got really stressful. And I would seldomly draw. However, after a night of studying endless Criminology theories, I pulled out a sheet of paper and started to draw Lady Gaga. This was around 2006, when her song “Poker Face” came out, and I thought that her costumes were fun to reimagine. So I drew her in different poses and dresses. That day I was at Robarts library just drawing all night, while other students were studying and learning about some boring shit such as quantum physics. I felt so happy, I instantly felt better and my stress slowly went away.
So, I graduated and I was lucky enough to do a film course, where I was able to practice my creative art muscles. Finally, I applied to the fine arts degree in Documentary Media at Ryerson. It was a great program and I learned a lot about digital creation. However, even when I graduated I still felt like it was something that I couldn't fully grasp.
Now here I am. I stopped creating. Not only did I stop drawing, I stopped taking pictures and making video. What happened? Self doubt, anxiety started to kick in telling me that I was not good enough. It was an endless cycle of not knowing what I could offer this world. I would compare myself to those that were established without considering how much soul and endless passion they put into their work. My husband kept telling me to keep creating. But I wouldn’t listen because I had already told myself that I wasn’t cut out for it. But little did I know that it was stopping to create that had kept me sad and full of anxiety.
So, I needed something that would push me to create. And what better to take then a drawing class and a blog course? This drawing course has me to the moon and back. In my first class, I was terrible and was saddened at the perceived fact that I lost my skills. However,I went to the next class with determination and realized that my skills have not left me. And I was right! I felt like I could draw again. My creatives muscles were in full gear and started to draw like I’ve never drawn before.
Now here I am fully ready for the next phase of my life, blogging and sharing my creations. I feel that learning and teaching come hand in hand, and I’m ready to not only improve but also teach what I’ve learned. I hope to meet new artists and collaborate on new projects in my upcoming posts.